Photo Credit: His Creations Photography by Paige Yawson

http://hiscreationsphotography.mypixieset.com

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

As little girls we often dream of finding our knights in shining armor , getting married, and starting our own families. Sometimes we have dreams of outrageous career goals, conquering personal accomplishments, and changing the world. Other times we dream of the simplest and most miraculous joys of life; rocking our newborn babies, holding hands while we take a stroll with the love our life, watching the sunset every night from our porch, reading a good book and then taking a nap in our favorite chair or hammock. I know I personally dreamed of it ALL at one time or another. From the best friend love of my life sweeping me off my feet, to climbing the tallest mountain , to playing in the WNBA, to traveling the world, to birthing beautiful babies and raising them the best I knew how and SO much more …..I DREAMED OF IT ALL. Some of those dreams came true and well some of them didn’t. I’m obviously not playing for the WNBA and I’ve only been out of the country a few times….but it didn’t stop the little girl I was or the little girl still in me from dreaming.

What I NEVER dreamed, was that once I finally found my knight in shining armor and we settled down ready to start our little family, that we would be faced with the obstacle of infertility. I NEVER dreamed that after we finally conceived, we would have to say goodbye so quickly due to miscarriages. I NEVER dreamed that we would be rejoicing over the news of twins and before the sentence ended we’d be devastated with the news of a rare condition, making it impossible for them to survive outside the womb. I certainly NEVER dreamed that at the age of 35 I would be with my husband picking out a headstone or planning a funeral for the twin girls I was carrying and growing inside of me. I NEVER dreamed we would have to explain to our 4 year old daughter that her prayers for a younger sibling had finally been answered (x2 actually) , but that barring a miracle from God, her baby sisters wouldn’t get to come home and live with us because they would be in Heaven. I NEVER could have dreamed the pain I would feel physically and emotionally as I walked out of the hospital without them in my arms only 2 days after delivering them and the brokenness that would follow. These weren’t dreams of mine, but they ended up being part of our story anyway….

Oh but that’s only part of the story. God was not done. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE. I’m still here and still standing today for one reason alone…..God is good…..even when life is hard and unexpected. There is Joy to be found in every circumstance and our Heavenly Father wants to help us accept it and embrace it. I am so grateful that grief and Joy can co-exist in this lifetime and I’m ready to share what God would have me about our family and the beauty that has grown from ashes.

God has placed it on my heart to share our story with others, not for pity, not for sympathy, but for His good; for the glory of His kingdom, so here I am. I pray that our story, this testimony, the legacy of our girls, will change lives, provide Hope in a lost world, encouragement, comfort, support and whatever else God has for us. The enemy has set out to destroy every good and positive thing in our lives. The enemy doesn’t want us to know that we can feel peace in the eye of the storm, or joy in the presence of sorrow, but our God is bigger and He has already defeated the enemy and is always working for good.

 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…

Revelations 12:11 KJV